Written by Sonia Su

Over the years, I have attended enough weddings to know that there is no minimum or maximum limit to the number of groomsmen one can have.

But can you really just have one groomsman or as many as you feel comfortable joining you on your special day?

In this article, I share insights on how many groomsmen you can have, balancing tradition, logistics, and the unique relationships that make up your special day.

 

Groomsmen Over the Years

The role of the groomsman has a rich history that dates back centuries, evolving from ancient customs and traditions to become the supportive and celebratory role we recognize today.

In ancient times, the groomsman's role was far from the festive duties we see now. In early Germanic tribes, a groom would often abduct his bride from her family, and his closest friends or relatives would assist him in this act.

These companions were called "bride knights" or "bride’s men," and their primary duty was to help the groom capture and protect the bride from being taken back by her family or rival suitors. This practice was rooted in the belief that marriage was a transaction and a way to secure alliances, property, or power.

As societies evolved, so did the customs surrounding most weddings. By the time of the Roman Empire, the concept of the groomsman began to take on a more ceremonial role. The groom’s friends were still present, but their duties now included acting as witnesses to the marriage contract, ensuring the legal binding of the union. These witnesses, called "pronubi," were essential in legitimizing the marriage in the eyes of society and the law.

During the Middle Ages in Europe, the role of the groomsman continued to evolve. The focus shifted from abduction and protection to honor and support. Groomsmen, often knights or noblemen, would dress similarly to the groom to confuse any evil spirits or jealous rivals who might wish harm upon the newlyweds. They also played a part in the wedding procession, showcasing the groom’s status and wealth.

In Victorian England, the role of the groomsman became more defined and formalized. The emphasis was on propriety and decorum, with groomsmen serving as attendants who ensured the smooth running of the wedding day.

They were responsible for organizing the bachelor party, helping the groom dress, and managing the logistics of the ceremony and reception. This period also saw the rise of the best man, a role originally designated to the most trusted and capable groomsman who would stand closest to the groom during the ceremony.

In modern times, the role of the groomsman is largely symbolic and supportive. Groomsmen are chosen for their close relationship with the groom, often lifelong friends or close family members. Their duties include planning the bachelor party, assisting with wedding preparations, and standing alongside the groom during the ceremony. The tradition of matching attire has continued, now more for aesthetic harmony than for confusing spirits or rivals.

Today, the number and roles of groomsmen can vary widely depending on personal preferences, cultural traditions, and the specific dynamics of the wedding party.

Despite the changes over time, the essence of the groomsman’s role remains: to support the groom and contribute to the joy and success of the wedding day.

 

How to Decide the Number of Groomsmen

When deciding how many groomsmen, consider factors such as the size of your wedding, the balance between groomsmen and bridesmaids, and your personal relationships.

It's also important to think about the logistics of managing a larger wedding party and ensuring everyone can fulfill their roles comfortably.

Also, consider your budget, as more groomsmen may lead to higher costs for attire, groomsmen gifts, and other related expenses, including the rehearsal dinner. This is especially important if you do not have the wedding party members pay for their attire.

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Ultimately, deciding the number of groomsmen is a personal choice that should reflect the size and style of your wedding, your relationships, and practical considerations.

 

How to Choose Your Groomsmen

Choosing your groomsman is a personal decision that should reflect your closest relationships and the individuals you want to share this special moment with.

Here is our guide on how to choose your groomsmen:

Consider Close Relationships:

• Family Members: Start by considering close family members, such as brothers or cousins, who have been significant in your life.

• Best Friends: Think about your best friends who have supported you through various stages of your life.

Evaluate Reliability and Responsibility:

• Dependability: Choose reliable individuals who can be counted on to fulfill their roles and responsibilities.

• Punctuality: Ensure they are punctual and can manage their time effectively on the wedding day.

Think About Group Dynamics:

• Compatibility: Select groomsmen who get along well with each other to ensure a harmonious wedding party.

• Diversity: Consider including a mix of personalities and backgrounds to enrich the group dynamic.

Balance with Bridesmaid:

• Even Bridal Party Numbers: Aim for a balanced number of groomsmen and bridesmaids to facilitate paired entrances and exits during the wedding ceremony.

• Coordination: Coordinate with your partner to ensure both sides of the wedding party are aligned.

Consider Physical Proximity:

• Local Friends: If possible, choose groomsmen who live nearby to simplify planning and pre-wedding activities.

• Travel Willingness: For those who live farther away, ensure they are willing and able to travel for the wedding.

Assess Their Availability:

• Time Commitment: Make sure your chosen groomsmen have the time to commit to pre-wedding events, rehearsal dinner, and the wedding day. It helps to return the favor with great groomsmen gifts, so here are our picks for the 13 best groomsmen gifts.

• Work Schedules: Check their work schedules to avoid any potential conflicts.

Think About the Roles They Will Play:

• Special Skills: Consider if any potential groomsmen have special skills or talents that could be useful (e.g., public speaking for toasts, organizational skills for planning events).

• Willingness to Participate: Ensure they are enthusiastic about taking on the various roles and responsibilities involved.

Personal Comfort:

• Trustworthiness: Choose individuals you trust and feel comfortable having by your side on such an important day.

• Supportive Nature: Select groomsmen who will be supportive and contribute positively to your wedding experience.

 

Groomsmen Roles

Groomsmen play a crucial role in supporting the groom and contributing to the smooth running and enjoyment of the wedding day festivities. These roles may include:

Pre-Wedding Planning

• Bachelor Party: Organizing and planning the bachelor party, which includes choosing the venue, and activities, and coordinating with other groomsmen.

• Attire Selection: Assisting the groom in selecting and ensuring the proper fitting of groomsmen attire, including groomsmen suits or tuxedo shirts.

Wedding Day Support

• Emotional Support: Providing moral support and calming nerves for the groom throughout the day.
• Getting Ready: Helping the groom get dressed, ensuring he looks his best, and attending to any last-minute details. They might help with putting on a boutonniere or a bow tie for family members.
  
  

• Transportation: Arranging transportation for the groom to the ceremony venue and ensuring timely arrival.

Ceremony Responsibilities

• Standing by the Groom: Standing alongside the groom during the ceremony as a visible show of support.
• Escorting Bridesmaids: Escorting bridesmaids down the aisle during the processional and possibly during the recessional.

• Readings or Duties: Participating in any readings, rituals, or duties assigned by the couple or officiant.

Reception Involvement

• Guest Interaction: Mingling with wedding guests, introducing themselves, and ensuring everyone feels welcome.
• Toasts and Speeches: Offering a toast or speech during the reception, typically after the best man's speech.

• Assistance to Guests: Providing assistance to guests, such as guiding them to their seats or helping with any questions or concerns.

Post-Wedding Duties

• Return of Attire: Ensuring timely return of rented attire or helping with the care of purchased attire. Check out the best dress shirts for a wedding from Nimble Made.
  

• Supporting the Couple: Offering ongoing support to the couple after the wedding day, whether it's through friendship, advice, or assistance as needed.

 

What is the Average Size Groomsmen Party?

The average size of a groomsmen party typically ranges from 4 to 6 groomsmen. This number can vary based on personal preferences, the overall size of the wedding, and cultural or regional traditions.

Smaller weddings might have fewer groomsmen to maintain an intimate feel, while larger weddings may have more to accommodate a broader circle of friends and family.

The number of groomsmen often also matches the number of bridesmaids to ensure balance in the wedding party.

 

 

Frequently Asked Questions about How Many Groomsmen

Is 7 groomsmen too many?

Having 7 groomsmen is not necessarily too many; it largely depends on the size of the wedding and the couple's preferences. Larger weddings can accommodate more attendants without issue, while smaller, more intimate ceremonies might find a smaller number more fitting. Ultimately, it's about what feels right for the couple and their vision for their special day.

Is there a limit to groomsmen?

There is no strict limit to the number of groomsmen a groom can have in a wedding. The number typically depends on personal preference, the size of the wedding party, and the overall logistics of the event. Some couples may choose to have just one or two groomsmen, while others might include many more.

Does the best man count as groomsman?

Yes, the best man is considered a groomsman, but he has a special role with additional responsibilities. As the lead groomsman, the best man typically assists the groom with various tasks, gives a speech at the reception, and holds the wedding rings during the ceremony.

Can you have 8 groomsmen?

Yes, you can have 8 groomsmen at your wedding. The number of groomsmen is typically a personal choice and can vary based on the size of your wedding party and personal preferences. Having a larger number of groomsmen allows you to include more close friends and family members in your special day.